“I’m really done this time.” I told myself. Then the move happened, and I felt like it was a fresh start. New place, new chapter, new me. Then a few weeks later he messaged me that he wanted some pictures taken and asked if I could help him out and do it for him.
Read MoreHonestly, at this point it feels like I’m holding onto this ‘I’m not good enough’ feeling very strongly, otherwise, why would I keep choosing it over and over again. Why would anyone wanna feel that way? Why? Because it’s a familiar feeling.
Read MoreIn my last blog I mentioned that a lot of the issues I’m struggling with in my love life, I’m slowly starting to see how they all tie back to my troubled relationship with my father. I never really thought that my romantic life has anything to do with my childhood, but I’ve come across with some experts on the internet expanding on the topic and while I was listening to them braking it down, suddenly it all made sense.
Read More…at the end of the day, the person I am today is the result of all the things have happened to me in the past. All those happy and sad moments and the lessons I took or didn’t take from them. Expecting that my past would not have any effect on me whatsoever is just unrealistic.
Read MoreAs this whole coronavirus thing started unfolding itself in the UK, I knew my social life is about to die out, so I became more and more active on dating apps. You see where I’m going? 😆
Read MoreLong story short, I ended up texting him. Again. That’s right. It’s the 3rd time that this happened since the breakup. I’m not proud of it, I’m just saying it because it’s a fact.
Read MoreLooking back, this year I was very hard on myself with a lot of negative self-talk. Never feeling good enough. For some reason I kept forgetting how crucial it is to be nice to myself.
Read MoreDon’t get me wrong, I still think breaking up was the right decision. But when you’re so used to having this person in your life, going from being in touch every day to not talking at all is fucking hard. And that’s something that can not be disregarded.
Read MoreNobody is a mind reader. You can’t expect people just to know what’s going on inside your head. I know it’s not always easy as I’m guilty myself for holding back certain thoughts and feelings (usually the negative ones).
Read MoreI’m counselling the voices in my own head. But it’s important in order to find my way back to get along with myself again. Because I feel like that’s what’s tripping me up right now. Being hard on myself will not make me work harder. If anything it takes the joy out of everything.
Read MoreHow am I ever gonna find out how far I can go if I refuse to move forward. If I keep allowing myself to get distracted and I stop putting the work in. I’ve had phases in the past when I fell back, but never this much. Where did my motivation go? Why am I not excited about my work anymore? What am I afraid of?
Read More…My heart just dropped. I’m so confused and sad at the same time. I can’t even look at him. I’m shaking. He gets out of the water and I decided to not make a scene in front of everyone so I just inform him that I’m going to take a shower. I’m balling my eyes out in that shower….
Read MoreI've conceptualised and been holding onto this idea, that romantic love is supposed to be unconditional. I thought about it and now I know it’s only because I’ve been hurt by it, so I’m inventing theories to protect my feelings. But it’s time to snap out of it. My friends were right. Relationships shouldn't be unconditional.
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